08.06.09
Gluten-Free Life
Hi-
ummm yeppers it has been since May since I last posted. I really wish I had more time in the day to do all that I want to do in one day—but I don’t. And the blogger has been on the end of the list of 500 things I need to do each day! Therefore I have been neglecting it all summer….
I did however not neglect my struggles in a healthier life! This summer has been hard but I think a lot of good is going to come out of it. I have been doing a lot of research on this and that- trying to understand how my body works. A lot of it is trial and error….I was having a lot of problems which resulted in my decided to limit the wheat content in my life and now as of this week I am gluten free. Choosing to have a gluten free diet is way harder than you may think because everything has gluten in it! So what is gluten? Anything that has wheat flour….which is anything from bread, pasta, cookies, crackers to soy sauce and so on!
After two visits to the doctor to discuss some pain I was having in my chest I discovered a few things….
1. acid reflux (ummm yeah this stinks)
2. possible gluten allergy (not sure so testing it out and seeing how this may change the way my body processes food) so if most of my symptoms are relieved than well it will be a gluten free life for me…this will not be easy, and it will be expensive.
I have been gluten free since Monday—and doing pretty good actually. It requires you to be more creative with meals/snacks, and forces you to fill up on good for you things like apples and peanut butter, nectarines for breakfast with yogurt, lots of veggies, banana’s, and yummy breakfast veggie omelets! For dinner? Yes dinner is tricky…so far I have had a yummy veggie pilaf, corn tortilla’s and spicy beans, and tonight I will have veggies, half chicken breast and gluten free pasta.
Because of the crazy expense of g-free products I am going to join a CO-OP buying group which I am super stoked about.
I also am going to go on a low-dose bc pill and see if that helps as well…apparently high doses of estrogen can change the way your body processes insulin. It is very interesting and it is called insulin resistance. (see for here for more info).
Exercise: Well this summer it has been hard to get to the gym- I had hit and miss weeks. I have been sick for the last 4 days so I have not been able to get to the gym. But I am hoping tomorrow I will be able to get my butt into the gym…I am hoping to go at least 4 times a week.
Hmmmm well this is my update I guess…nothing else new really. Just had a stressful summer and I am sad that it is going to be over soon. I feel like I barely got to enjoy it. Soon Fall will be starting and that means 2 classes for school! Than finally after 6 years I will be done! woot woot!
Cheers-
Mrs. Cucumber
06.08.09
Hanging in there.
I’m trying not to fall off the face of the planet. Because in the diet-blog world nothing good can really come of that. I use this blog as a resource, not only for accountability but as an outlet of all my dieting woes. I’ve been discouraged lately. When I think about how fat I am and how I’d like to lose weight lately, it seems so trivial and unimportant, in fact, I almost feel <i> guilty</i> for allowing myself to worry about such a ridiculously self-oriented detail. Most of the rest of the time, I have been too distracted by other things to pay much attention to my weight, and rather than think about those little horrors, I give all my attention to my old, faithful friends: Ben & Jerry.
Then I weighed myself. Knowing today is at least the one day of the week I have to be held accountable for my actions… I hopped on the scale: 190. My heart pounding through my chest I was horrified. Embarrased, scared, sick, dizzy. It was awful. How did this get so out of control? When we started this blog I just wanted to lose 20 lbs of weight for the wedding. Now, here I am 60 lbs away from my goal! If nothing else this has been a vivid log of my decline. The more horrifying part: what if I hadn’t been keeping track? How much worse, how much more quickly would this have happened? In the past two years I have gained 50 lbs, lost 60 lbs and gained 60 lbs. That is a 170 lb fluxuation. Crazy unhealthy.
Tearfully, I admitted to my husband today that I don’t know what I’m going to do next. “I feel… I feel like a corpse that has been floating in the rivier for a few months… fat and bloated and just plain gross!” He hugged me and when (in the next breath) I talked about picking up a bag of chips to finish up the onion dip in our fridge he calmly suggested I not do that. The concept of trying to force myself into an eating disorder keeps coming up in my mind. It’s such a depressive damaging thought. I know I can do this!
Its time to take this thing head on. No half-assed childhood fantasy vision of looking like Angelina or Nicole Kidman, this is real. I want to look like me, but feel better. I am not relying on anyone else, this is not as important as anyone else. I’m taking years off my life right now, years away from playing with grandkids, away from my masterpiece book I’ll write some day; maybe I’m losing the year I make my greatest accomplishment; who knows?
Point is: it’s not worth the risk. I ate two brats for lunch, and do I feel like it was worth feasibly being in the hospital with a heart attack the night my future son gets married? No. I feel sick, because I overate I can’t even keep down the tylonol I need. The tylonol I need because the extra weight is such a strain on my back that carrying a box up the stairs last night injured me. Were the two brats worth that injury? No. It’s not worth it. I expect my husband to stop smoking? To lay off drinking? Meanwhile I sit in front of everyone eating myself to death? How is that okay?
I’m irrate with myself for allowing it to get this far. And I’m fed up that no one can fix this but me and I just sit there and feel sorry for myself. “It’s not easy for me like it is for them..” “It’s not fair SIL1 and SIL2 never have to work at it, not ever…” “How come she gets to drink herself silly everynight and still look that good in spandex??”
I’m beautiful, I’m talented. I have a brain that I am letting turn to mush. I’m not meeting people because I’m sitting somewhere moping about how fat I am. Enough. The time to live is now. Who knows what the future holds? Do I want to look like this in my coffin? If I died tomorrow do I want to be 190 lbs of embalmed cadaver? No.
I don’t even know where to begin with goals, but it seems to me like I have to set a couple small ones, it seems needless to relay that I don’t think I accomplished any of last week’s goals. I did not work out once until sunday when I played DDR with hubby for about a half hour.
Goals:
1. Get Butt to the gym 2-4 times this week.
2. Exercise at home at least twice this week.
3. No ice cream this week. Can substitute 1/2 cup serving of frozen yogurt/sherbert.
4. Eat 5 small wellbalanced meals with veggie & protein in every meal.
The last one is going to be the hardest one.
06.01.09
Baby Steps.
Here I am on Monday, having accomplished my main goal of last week: staying alive. This weekend was emotionally exhausting for me. Unfortunately I was one day short of my four day gym streak. But I’m going to try not to beat myself up about it. Other lows were that I ate a pint of ben & jerry’s in less than fifteen minutes, almost a whole bag of chips with french onion dip and several mini chocolate bars. Emotional eating much?
On the brighter side, I went to the gym three times this week, which is a record for me this year. I also made several “healthier choices” this weekend: ham & turkey sub instead of fried buff. chick. sandwich; sun chips instead of potato chips with the pop, mostly diet soda without caffiene all weekend; among other things I can’t think of right now. I got a lot of out side time after I set up the patio on Saturday morning and a bright red sunburn to prove it.
On Saturday night I weighed myself fully clothed and came up with a weight of 189. Although, I do feel like my clothes are fitting better and I lost some weight. Not sure about this one.
Here is the plan for the week:
Monday Night: DDR with Hubby
Tuesday Morning: Balance & Core class 6:00 a.m.
Tuesday Night: Yoga class 6:45 p.m. (optional)
Wednesday Morning: Spinning Class 6:00 a.m.
Wednesday Night: Elliptical & Weights 5:00 p.m.
Thursday Morning: Kickboxing Video 6:00 a.m.
Thursday Night: Yoga Class/Hip Hop Hustle 6:00 p.m.
Friday Morning: Cardio Plus Class 6:00 a.m.
Saturday Afternoon: Hike
Sunday: Day Off!
Goals:
1. Make it to the gym at least four times.
2. Eat things in serving sizes.
3. Make 5 healthier choices this week.
4. Exercise at least once a day Sunday being the day off.
5. Spend time outside.
6. pre-make some healthy quick breakfasts for gym mornings.
My primary goal is going to be to make it to the gym in the mornings. However, my bedtime has been sort of indeterminite lately, depending upon what things hubby and I have to talk about how stressful the day has been, what time hubby gets home, etc. I found this past week that exercise really helped me cope with all the stress that has been in the air. I just really wish I would have handled food better. Oh well! One step at a time, right? I’m getting better at exercising no matter what, no excuses! and that is fabulous all on it’s own.
So, tenatively (since I don’t have any better numbers to compare to):
Current Weight: 189 lbs.
Goal Weight: 137 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 0
05.29.09
On the Cutting Board.
Well, in due course, just when you think things can’t get worse they do. Not to go all ‘woe is me’ on anyone. But seriously, after facing devestating health issues including a plethora of surgeries and excrutiating pain, fall outs with both of our families and amounts of unsubstantiated debt that were incomprehensible to us before this year, one begins to think “man, at least it can’t get any worse.”
Then it does.
I can’t really go into details, but suffice it to say, this one is entirely Hubby’s fault. It was stupid. It was bad. And we are in a lot of financial/emotional turmoil over it. I don’t really know where we will be in a couple weeks, as in, I don’t know if we can keep our townhome. So, we’re taking things one day at a time right now. This is not making for a good “healthful” environment.
Last week was when all this took place, so, I didn’t fulfil many of my goals. This past memorial day weekend (after two straight days of crying on my part) we went on an “emergency” vacation. Figuring if spending the last $200 we had available to us on credit cards means neither of us winds up stabbed in our sleep by the other, it was well worth it. (No, this wouldn’t actually happen, I’m big on the dramatics though.) But seriously, our couplehood was on rocky ground, and we consider that our primary concern. The vacation was filled with sausage pasta, and potato chips, and about 2 dozen cookies that I baked prior in a fit of stress and anxiety. They were delicious. We did make it to an in-hotel gym on the last day when we splurged on a hotel with a water park in it in an effort to get poor sunburnt to a crisp Hubby out of the sun.
After several phone calls from his parents who were worried I’d left him alongside a road somewhere, we arrived safely back at home. One of the more long term benefits of the trip happened to be that we found DDR pads for our PS2 at Pamida (aside from our shee amazement that Pamida still exists) we were dumbstruck to find them on clearance for $1.99 a piece. We’ve been shopping for some time, and the average price of a mat and game set is about $37-$45, so, 2 pads and a used game for $21.00 was a freakin’ awesome deal!
By Tuesday (the night that we arrived home) it occured to me that since I only made it to the gym once the week before, this week was going to be insane. Not only was I getting a late start, but I also had to go to the gym 4 times this week to make my goal of 8 times for the month of May. Difficult considering I haven’t went more than twice a week since I got a membership at the community center. It was a deal Hubby and I had though, I keep the membership only if I go 8x and get that stinking discount!
| So, my plan was: | What REALLY happened: | |
| Wed. | Class: Cardio/Strength Intervals | I was talking to SIL 1 about her schedule until just after the class started, and then after that I was hungry, and then after that hubby called to tell me he was coming home with food. So, we played DDR for an hour instead.
|
| Thurs. | Class: Kickboxing | SIL 1 called to tell me that she wanted to come but wouldn’t be able to make it for the Kickboxing class, instead we went to Yoga. This counted as my gym time: CHECK!
|
| Fri. | Class: 6:00 a.m. Cardio | SIL 1 decided to come along for this one, t00. That was good, if she hadn’t, I totally would have backed out. Unfortunately, the slow desk clerk took forever to check us in, and the class all jogged outside while we were standing at the front desk. We got in a work out on the ellipticals today. CHECK!
|
So, now I need two more trips to the gym, the clerk informed me this morning that they dont’ count multiple trips within the same day as separate visits for the purposes of insurance discounts. Bummer. So, I have to go Saturday and Sunday to make this work. I don’t really have faith that I can do this, but I’m sure going to try. Saturday morning is a Cardio class, I don’t really think that I will be able to make it to this one since Saturday morning is for, well… bow chicka wow wow…. you know… But, that night I can go and maybe even get some weight training in, who knows? Then Sunday is hard because it is the only day Hubby and I have completely off together. I want to go to the afternoon Yogalates class, but this all hinges on whether he goes to softball or not. If he does then I will probably go to the gym during the time while he’s gone. If he doesn’t then it depends on whether or not he’d like to come with. So complicated.
So there we go… I’m hoping I can do this, get all 8 visits in this month. I have my fingers crossed that these new exercise outlets become habitual. That I can build up to where I want to be having tons of physical activity engrained in my weekly routine.
Diet as it stands has not been doing so well, although yesterday went very well I feel. Today is off to a great start! I feel like things are still improving despite the decline in other events this past week. I love that I already have my workout over with and I can get other things done tonight like some grocery shopping and maybe even some other form of activity. I feel energized, empowered and accomplished! Woot!
I’m going to keep exercising and keep praying. I’m going to keep going to yoga, it’s the first time that my mind hasn’t been spinning out of control in a week. I’m going to keep loving my man, and keep trying to be a better person for him and because of him. In many ways, I’m thankful that this first year has been so hard. I feel like I know that we can face almost anything now. I’m going to try hard to remember to thank God for all the challenges and for the strength to overcome them.
This weekend is just about getting through and trying to remember to eat well and find motivation to go to the gym. I’ll be back next week with a new set of goals and an update on the last few days of May!
05.26.09
Happy Tuesday!
Morning. So I know I signed off last night making it sound like I would not be back until my weekly weight-in. Well I lied! Lol. I think that it will be important for me to post more often than not. So if I need to post each day, or every other day I will. I went to the gym this morning and I feel great. I actually got up to my alarm and got going. I even ran on the track. This is HUGE for me. I have not ran on the track forever!
A few other things that I forgot to mention. For me deadlines are very important when it comes to being productive. And lists! I need both of these things in order to get moving. So last night before I went to bed (for my nightly reading) I made a list of today and tomorrow. All the things I needed to get done and at what time of the day it needs to get done at or finished by. I think this will be extremely helpful for me as long as I don’t plan more than I can actually do. I need to be able to feel like I am getting things done not failing…which is when I shut-down and get overwhelmed and just stop working. When nothing is getting done off my list, or I did not complete everything for the days list. So I guess being more practical about what I can actually do in a day, while still pushing myself to be productive will be key.
Food journal. I also want to start being better about journalism what I eat. I think it will be helpful to let me see what I am really putting into my body. This exercise is not to be obsessive but to really take a look at what does go in and how it makes me feel. Did I feel hot after eating that or feel yuck. This will also help me stick to the (6 small meals) a day.
That’s all for now.
05.25.09
experiment in the making…
Back from the picnic. Well we did not last to long in the grass reading…the ground is a little hard. So instead we went to the store and got some champagne to celebrate the holiday weekend. Which is not exactly a hot chick drink. Champagne as I read on my picnic (reading How to eat like a hot chick) is a red flag…and must be avoided. But it is a holiday, special occasion and heck I am a Hot Chick and can have what I like. So champagne it was. woot woot!
During all of this hubby and I decided that it is a bit odd that that we can both eat a meal of equal amounts and I will be totally hungry/famished 2 hours later…and well hubby will be good for like 8 hours! He usually is….no matter how much I eat, small or large I am still hungry after only 2 hours…I always thought that I have a slow metabolism, but hubby seems to think that based on all of these things and more (that I have not explained) that maybe in fact I have a high metabolism and that I am just not feeding my body the way it wants to be feed…
Truthfully I have not really been gaining weight nor have I been losing I have been I guess maintaining a normal fluctuating weight. So this week I am going to test these theories by eating 6 small meals (no bigger than the size of my fist). Hopefully after this week we will have some answers. Even if I do have a slow metabolism in the end would eating small meals through out the day help speed it up?
Other goals….
-work out 4 times this week (actually get my tush out of bed in the morning)
-followed with actually getting dressed and ready to “walk to my office” or actually go into the “office” trouble with being your own boss and owning your own business, office is just across the living room…easy to go in pj’s
-avoid trigger foods…
-work super hard (not wasting time) to catch up on work
-on the weekends or evenings when hubby is busy working on the computer (playing games) which sometimes gets a little annoying (what can I say I am very needy person and time on the computer is time wasted that could be spent with me) so instead of pouting about it, I am going to write him love letters or pray for him or work on some sort of hobby project (not editing photos or anything work related) No more pouting allowed!
I will be sure to let you all know how it goes…until than my fellow Hot Chicks or Hot Men if you prefer….have a great week.
Joy-
Mrs. Cucumber
-
Hot chick coming your way…
Clearly I have been absent from “Stretch Mark Sisters” for a bit now. I have been really busy and not very good at managing my time. I need to gain control of my time, to use my time wisely and get the most out of it so that I can make time for my self. Work has been really busy and no matter how much I think I can catch up I am still behind. Being a busy’s owner has many challenges. One is balance. I need to find balance in my life so that I can A. be a hard worker, successful, use time wisely, be productive, don’t waste time and B. find time for me so that I can be a better wife, take care of ME! I need to take care of Me so that I can take care of everything else and most importantly my wonderful husband.
Balance…and to stop being a LSE (low-self esteem) and start acting and feeling like a Hot chick. Speaking of Hot Chick I am reading this great book called “How to eat like a Hot Chick”it is brilliant! Hilarious, witty and just down right truthful. The authors, who are very hot by the way and make the book super easy to read…make you feel like a Hot Chick. They point out that we are all Hot Chicks and that being and feeling like a Hot Chick is not about being skinny but about “trying” and I am saying “trying” since they admit that we all mess up, to take care of your body in a Hot Chick way. This does not mean that you deprive yourself of that yummy martini or that chocolate cake, but that you keep things balanced. If that chocolate cake is looking tempting for breakfast well go a head eat it but than plan to eat a pound of spinach for dinner!
The definition of a Hot Chick right from the book, “A confident woman. She knows what she wants and gets it. She is aware of her flaws, but she doesn’t obsess over them and instead thinks that maybe (just maybe) they actually add to her unique beauty. She is passionate. She loves life. She is comfortable in her own skin and owns her sexuality, but uses it purely good. She does not see other women as her enemy and competes only with herself to do her best at all times and to be her best at all times. She is forthright, honest, and disarmingly herself. She never tries to be anyone else. She is having fun and she is sexy and you just want to be around her to soak up some of those good vibes. She isn’t perfect, but she doesn’t care because she is hot. And so are you.”
So as I am reading this book I will reveal some of the secrets to the Hot Chick. And enough is enough I am done treating myself like crap. It is time that I take charge of my life and take care of myself once and for all. So until further ado (it is Memorial Day) and well a picnic with my honey is waiting. So I must be going, but more on this transformed Hot Chick and “How to eat like a Hot Chick” coming your way.
My new goal in life is to be and feel like a Hot Chick, the Hot Chick that I am (i just need to come out and well stop being LSE)
joy.
Mrs. Cucumber
05.18.09
Back to the Same Ol’.
So, my week went better than it could have. In the end, I only made it to the gym twice instead of three times. But I’ll take it. As far as my other goals, I did not plant anything. Partially because the neighbors were all out drinking and playing lawn games and I didn’t want to deal with the peer pressure of it all. I did take two things outside: I walked to the gym, I bbqed my lunch one day so again, only missed one here. As far as choosing healthier options I made oven fries instead of fried fries earlier in the week, I ate a turkey sandwhich instead of the McD’s I was craving, and I grilled out yesterday instead of going out to eat after church. I’m really happy with this one!
Unfortunately the biggest problem I see with the past week is the amount of drinking. Only one or two beers at any given time, but that was enough to make me feel sluggish and irritated with myself by the end of the week. I see all is back to normal with the Hubby and me, trouble being, that he wants me drinking ALL THE TIME. I can’t do it! Not only is it not good for me, I don’t feel good, I don’t like it. Last night, after four other nights where I had had something to drink (Saturday: 3 beers, Tuesday: 1 giant beer and 1 glass of champagne, Saturday: 1 giant beer, Sunday: 1/2 bottle of wine and 1 beer) I was begging hubby not to pop open that can of beer. I wanted diet pop of all things not beer. Afterwards I just felt spinny and tired. I was out with the neighbors and hubby was doing his normal showmannery, and I couldn’t even carry on a conversation. I stayed out for less than a half hour and went to bed disgusted with myself for giving in. This has to be fixed.
The whole time I was on the elliptical yesterday I spent dealing with the fact that even if I went all three miles that would barely cover all of the wine I’d already drank that day. And I didn’t even want it!
I can’t understand why people who drink insist on other people drinking too. I can’t understand why it is so hard to say no to something that you legitimately do not want to do.
Other than this minute detail I really do feel the week was a success. I think I will continue to format my goals like this until I feel I have a grasp on these areas of my life. I’m already feeling a lot more in control and like my goal is much more attainable.
Oh, oh a horrific side note, I botched my sunless tanning job this weekend. Anyone have any great solutions to streaky orange mess? Or any preventative measures? I’d love to hear them!!
So, I’m hoping my week goes something like this:
Monday: Hang out with Hubby.
Tuesday: Volley Ball with Hubby.
Wednesday: Gym
Thursday: Yoga with SIL 1 and Kiwi
Friday: Gym
Saturday: Morning Swim (hopefully the orange stripes will be gone by then!)
Evening Gym.
Sunday: Hang out with Hubby.
Goals:
1. Make it to the gym at least three times. If I do this I will be right on track for my discount! And I will get to keep my gym membership. Three times down, five to go for the month!
2. Get at least one exercise session outdoors this week. As you can see in my schedule, I’ve tried to schedule an extra “session” for each of my goals, so that if I back out once I don’t feel hopeless about fixing things.
3. Lay off the caffeine. I was telling Cucumber the other day that I am up to 2 cups of morning coffee, one cup of late morning/early afternoon green tea and 1-2 cokes in the afternoon. Horrible, and I wonder why I have been so tired??? I finally caught up on sleep with 17 hours on friday so lets keep it that way. No more than 2 cups of coffee or green tea per day.
4. Lay off the alchohol i.e. JUST SAY NO. I’m going to go buy some diet/caffeine free soda, and when people are drinking I will pull out a can of that. That’s it. NO more of this drinking when I dont’ want to. Drinking should happen no more than two nights a week, and only on one of those nights should I have more than two drinks. This is important to keep my self discipline/confidence in line, and also my calorie count!
5. Eat at least one serving of fruit a day, and at least one cup of veggies with each meal. I no this is no where near nutritionally sound, but it’s a good step. If I am at a resturant that will not serve a side of veggies, I will get a side salad. If I’m at home I will take the extra minute to cut up some celery or carrots. I’m not getting nearly enough veggies in my diet anymore and I can feel it.
6. Make at least three healthier choices this week. Same as last week. I think this is a great goal, it keeps me constantly thinking about what I could be doing to be healthier than what I’m already doing.
7. Take three things outside that I would normally do inside. My exercise session can count for one of these things. I feel like I really benefited from the fresh air and sunshine this past week, so I’d like to keep that up.
I don’t know if it is wise to set SO many goals for myself, but I’m feeling really good about them very motivated! My weight this week is at 183, which means it hasn’t really budged. I think that once I get exercise in check I will start concentrating more heavily on my diet. I think that is when I will start shedding those pounds.
Here is the low down on what my ”curriculum” is for myself:
Week 1: plant the seed for exercise and being active, work on thinking about being healthier. CHECK!
Week 2: Focus on making physical activity a part of your routine. Start thinking about what a healthy diet should look like. Continue to think about how to be healthier in general.
Week 3: Stick to your routine no matter what, make exercise a priority. Practice integrating healthy choices in your diet.
Week 4: Distinguish bad habits and nip them in the bud! Amp up the exercise routine. By now it should be a habit. Start focusing on balanced meals at certain times of the day.
Week 5: Keep fighting the bad habits and praise yourself for the good. Stick to Exercise Routine. Practice no excuses. Start working on portion size control.
That’s the general plan. I really hope that it goes smoothly, of course, if I have a really off week, the plan is to keep repeating those goals until I master them. Good luck to you guys! I hope you all are successful in all of your goals!
05.14.09
Update on the Weeks Goals.
I’m unfortunately not doing as well as I had planned. A thick imprenatrable exhaustion has set in. I’m a little afraid it may be the end of my “manic” spring phase (a signature trait of Seasonal Affective Disorder). As far as the schedule went:
Monday: Gym with SIL 1 – Went off as planned 3 mis. on the elliptical! I hurt like heck the next day, we didn’t do any strength training unfortunately, she was intimidated by the cute guy using the machines, I was intimidated by the machines. Bummer.
Tuesday: I was so exhausted I was near tears. No joke. It was raining so we didn’t do volleyball instead we went and explored a new shopping complex a couple towns away. Fun? Yes. Active? No. But it was time well spent with hubby. And we had a couple XXes to commemorate his old age 
.
Wednesday: Again, not as productive. I was still exhausted. I prepped the pot roast for the birthday boy’s big dinner, then in the midst of picking up the odds and end pieces of yarn on the living room floor so I could vaccuum I got distracted by the pieces of my sweater lying there waiting to be joined. So, for the next 3 hours I sat on the floor assembling them in front of the T.V. I’m a little angry with myself about this.
Thursday: Well, we’ll see, my exhaustion (and the supernatural season finale) has me outright dreading yoga tonight. I don’t want to go even remotely. I’m going to text SIL 2 and invite her, but what I’m most worried about is that I’ll use her not coming (if she so decides as an excuse) and I’d like to think I’m more independent than that.
So the plan for tonight? Go home, eat a little of the potroast, mix the bread dough and set it up to rise. Get ready for the gym. Clean up whatever possible (oh there is a lot to choose from, don’t worry about that!) and head off to class. Then once I get home I’m thinking it’s going to be a pretty straight to bed thing, or a work on my sweater for an hour thing.
Hopefully the rest of the week will go on as planned, Friday going back to the gym and hiking in a nearby park on Saturday.
As far as the goals for the week, here is my progress report:
1. Go to the gym at least three times: Well, as you can see, I’m certainly not looking like I’m going to make it any more than that, and sadly I am not getting as much exercise in as I hoped to because we cut out tuesday volley ball, but I’d say that I’m doing reasonably. I found a recipe for mini quiches that can be frozen/refridgerated and reheated during the week. I’m thinking that will work well as post morning work out breakfast and I’m hoping to get the ingredients and make some up on friday.. hopefully. Then maybe I will be able to get more than my three work out goal in next week!!
2. Try to choose a healthier option at least three times this week: On tuesday I explained my goals to hubby shortly after going out to dinner at CRAVE an asian fusion resturant and ordering sushi after a long debate about how good the crab artichoke dip sounded. (Sounds… yum). He pointed out that that would be a good example of choosing the healthier option. Unfortunately, since I didn’t actually think “Oh, I’ll choose sushi, that would be the healthier option.” I’m not sure I will count that. Maybe I’ll count it if I’m one off from my goal? Last night I botched dinner. I was lazy. I decided to go for fish sticks, and home made french fries. I was debating back and forth about whether I should fry or bake the fries. Greasy deep fried ones sounded SO good! And with the nasty greasy fish sticks, what difference did it make? I baked them, and I’m very proud of myself! It wasn’t all or nothing, it was a genuine BETTER choice. The kind of better choices we all have to make if we’re going to do this for a life time. I really do want to have that same debate and conscious decision making process twice more this week.
3. Re-Plant some Plants. This was a fail so far. I haven’t even thought about this. I am honestly appalled and don’t want to see the damage I did 
. I had a couple plants that were over 5″ tall! I killed them all! I need to pull them all down though so that I can replant some. Just not looking forward to this. I’m hoping to do this on Saturday morning. Hopefully I get enough cleaning done tonight and tomorrow night not to make excuses.
4. Take three inside activities outside. I haven’t done this at all, haven’t made a remote effort. I am blaming this on the cold rainy whether on tuesday and wednesday. However, I haven’t grilled or done anything else outside. I will try to remedy this tonight by walking to the gym instead of driving.
The really neat thing is, I don’t feel hopeless about what I haven’t accomplished. I feel empowered to be assessing my goals and my progress while there is still time to remedy all of this. While ideally I would have done many of these things already and not have cramed them into the last part of the week, I am not “in trouble” for having not done them. This whole thing has been a really amazing learning experience. I’m really happy to have done what I have done so far. I hope the rest of my week goes as well as the first part. I hope all of you are acheiving your goals as well!
As far as long term goals I don’t know if I have shared this or not but this is how I would like my future to be:
Monday: 6 a.m. Workout at the Gym
Tuesday: 6 a.m. Workout at the Gym
Wednesday: 6 a.m. Workout at the Gym
p.m. Workout vid
Thursday: 6 a.m. Workout at the Gym
p.m. Class at the Gym or outdoor activity afterwork
Friday: 6 a.m. Workout at the Gym
p.m Class at the Gym or outdoor activity after work
Saturday: Hiking or outdoor sport, if the weather is bad a workout vid.
Sunday: Day off.
Ideally, it would look something like this, workingout would be like showering or brushing teeth, I would just do it, look forward to it even, in several sessions a week, even multiple times a day. In the winter I can go ice skating on weeknights and snowshoing and skiing on saturdays. My city has a ton of exercise programs including an open water aerobics class a couple times a week at some of the local schools, there are tons of opportunities and different ways to acheive fitness without ever getting bored. I just need to take advantage of it. As far as my diet, it would have tons of fresh fruit and vegetables, and tons of lean protein at every meal. I wouldn’t be afraid of eating often so long as I was eating balanced.
I am really getting to the point where if I accomplish these things and still weigh 160 lbs.. I’m going to be fine. (Not 180 though, that’s not remotely healthy). I’m happy in my skin again. And that is a good feeling!
05.11.09
May is for Making Progress
Current Weight: 183
Goal Weight: 137
So, if you stare at the numbers, it does not look good. If you look over the past year of blogging, it looks even bleaker. (Especially considering the rate at which my fellow bloggers dropped like flies). But, take a look at this other list of stats:
Monday: Gym with SIL 1 – Aerobics and Strength
Tuesday: Volley Ball with Hubby
Wednesday: Get Chores Done
Thursday: Yoga with SIL 2- kicked me and SIL 1’s BUTT last time!!
Friday: Gym by myself. A girl has gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Saturday: Hiking with Kohlrabi!
Sunday: Shopping and Hubby’s Softball Game (not much exercise, but sure is inspiration!)
That is what I call progress.
My eating is slowly improving, I care again, so that is good. I am eating vegetables, I’m not forcing myself to eat ten servings a day or anything, but I am eating what I like when I want it, and that is awesome. I’m enjoying grilled zuchini and shrimp for dinner, or a steak salad, but I got McD’s yesterday and that’s okay too. I’m trying to practice moderation in all things and thus far it seems to be going very well. I’m managing to knit, sew, read the book I picked up at the library, cook (on occasion anyway) and get in some exercise. This is something I’ve never been very good at. I’m an incredibly extreme person! I’ll devote all my time to one thing for a week and then get so sick of it I don’t want to do it again for three months. I feel like this is why I have been failing at weightloss for so long, it hasn’t been a lifestyle, or something you do like brushing your teeth while hardly thinking about. It’s something I think about for every waking hour, and then when I screw up, I’m still thinking about it while I say “to hell with it” and cram every junk food you could feasibly imagine down my throat. Not. Good.
So, that’s it, my body craves black beans? I’ll eat ‘em. I have a healthier choice avaible? I’ll do it. I feel like going for a jog? ok.
May not be great, but it’s so, so, so much better.
I feel amazing. Less out of breath going up stairs, I feel like my jeans fit better already. I look and feel happier. Things are good right now. I’m going to work on keeping this up. Maybe in a little while I will work on structuring the diet a little better.
Goals for this week:
1. Go to the Gym 3 times. This doesn’t seem like it is going to be a challenge, but, things happen and people cancel. I need to have the balls not to let myself depend on them for exercise.
2. Try to choose a healthier option at least three times this week. I am concerned that maybe there won’t be that many opportunities, but there always are (Buff Chicken salad? how about you grill that chicken?).
3. Re-Plant some plants, outside this time. SO my last surgery did it. I killed all the plants. What can I say? the stomach pain was too much for climbing up a ladder (we keep them up high so the cat can’t get them) maybe if they are on the patio they will have a longer lifespan??
4. Get outside. I have not been getting outside NEARLY enough. I don’t know why either. What can’t you do outside?? Cook, eat, exercise, knit, read… that’s half my life right there! haha. So, I’m going to take three inside activities outside this week.
I hope all of your goals are acheived! LETS DO THIS!
